An Alternative Christmas Carol by the Children in Room 126
As Christmas was fast coming upon us, the Second grade teachers decided to ask the children to write letters to Santa, a simple enough task- ask for three things and write it down in a proper letter format. Or so one would think. As soon as the assignment was announced the children in my class got into a spirited debate about the very existence of Santa Claus.
Tommie the Scientist fired the opening shot, “Ms. Bahrami, there is no Santa Claus. That is for babies. How could one person deliver all those toys to all them children?”
A valid scientific observation one would think. But this was followed by loud protests from the girls on the other side of the room.
“There too is a Santa Claus! My parents told him how good I’ve been and he promised me a whole Bratz set!”
“No! Every one knows that Santa Claus is dead!”
Now I had to jump in. “WHAT?! Santa Claus IS NOT dead. Who told you nonsense like that?”
“Oh, Ms. Bahrami! Everyone knows that he got shot last week in the mall by Jamal’s cousin Darnell!” Well who could argue with actual eyewitnesses of Santa getting injured in the mall during a botched robbery attempt?
“No, honey! He’s not dead! He’s recovering in the hospital. He’ll be out before Christmas Eve! Don’t be worried!”
“No! That wasn’t a real Santa! That was a fake one hired by the mall! I saw four of them last Saturday!”
Such jaded skeptics! So the assignment had to be modified to writing a letter of thanks to some one who had done nice things for them through out the year.
The class was still buzzing with rumors as they sat down to write the letters. I was explaining to Brianna that in a Thank you letter one does not ask for a motorized scooter when I heard a scream from the direction of the water fountain. Takkiyha was crying and her top half was soaking wet.
“Ahhhhhhh!” sniffle sniffle. “Mizzzzzz. Baaaahraaaaami! Tommie and Nicholas held my head under the water tap!”
“What?! Tommie! Nicholas! Come here! Is this true?”
“No!” they answered in unison.
“OK. Let me tell you this. The punishment for lying is going to be much worse than for what you did. So, I’ll ask you one more time, did you hold Takkiyha’s head under the water?”
“Nooooooooo!” was Tommie’s vehement answer. “That girl been lyin’ again!”
“Nicholas! What is your version? Remember what I told you.”
His head immediately went down, “Yeeessss!”
“Now why in the world would you hold her head under the water?”
“We were trying to baptize her in the name of the Lord.”
Try to keep a straight face with that one! “Dear, are you a preacher?”
“No!”
“An ordained minister?”
“No!”
“Then you shouldn’t be baptizing people!”
“Oookaaay!”
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