Standing on the corner of Broadway and Oak, in the heat of the afternoon sun, I was truck by a curious revelation.
My reality was not in Albania, educating, building, shaking and moving.
My reality was the pink bubblegum stuck to the bottom of my shoe, the cigarette butts strewn in the streets.
My reality is the absolute hypocrisy of my life.
The noble yet condescending words, uttered. It is so easy to mount the snow-white high horse, and to pretend to have the answers, to don on the saviour complex when in reality we really are too helpless to save ourselves from ourselves. How can we talk about alleviating pain and suffering of improving the lots of others, when we live in our ivory towers and are too afraid to soil our hands much less mingle with the less fortunate. We play judge and jury; we pass judgements on the unfortunates, the downtrodden, with the smug satisfaction that comes from being the good Samaritan. It is so ironic this life… it is so cruel, for here we are drowning in the materialistic dream, being suffocated by our own ignorance and greed, Who are we to say “ Let me help”. We are the denizens of a godless society. We are the ships eternally lost at sea, doomed to a lifetime of ignorance. We travel to far off places, in order to ameliorate the condition of others, to give them a piece of the “American dream”- the white picket fence around the house of John and Jane with their 2.8 children and their dog named Spot. Only John is an alcoholic who abuses Jane, who has an eating disorder because she has to look good in the designer labels- who are so wrapped up in their own world that the kids go neglected, finding comfort and security in gangs, drugs, and love through sex with anyone and anything. Who will come and save this “noble” continent? Who will come to teach us about love, life, respect, value systems, interconnectedness and social responsibility. There must be hope, some glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. We are the godless society screaming into the oblivion of history.

Sunday August 28, 1994